It should be a crime

It should be illegal to slaughter the English language to this magnitude.

However, it should probably also be illegal for me to enjoy this type of thing as much as I do!

A couple of weekends ago, we went out shopping for some items, and since we only had one sharp knife in the house (my pocket knives don't count because nobody else will use them to cut their steak), I decided to purchase a set of sharp kitchen knives.

Some background:

For a while before we left the US, I was wanting to purchase some ceramic knives, but I just couldn't talk myself into forking (no joke intended) out that kind of cash when we had perfectly good knives already.

We have used the Miracle Blade knives for several years now.  They aren't the most expensive or the highest-quality knives on the market by any means, however, they are pretty darn good for the cost and the specialty blades in the set are pretty awesome.

I loved using the filet knife for cutting up a fresh pineapple. The thin, flexible blade made short work of the thick outer skin on those suckers.  Additionally, the Chop & Scoop blade was flat and thin so it was great for cutting cheese, onions, and other vegetables!

Anyway,  because I am inherently cheap at heart and hate to spend money (except on electronics and software), I put off all the greatness I knew would come from having ceramic knives in my hands.

Until now!  We went to Sadbarg and found a small shop that had kitchen stuff (including a Magic Bullet - more on this later).  I waffled between two sets of knives and ultimately chose the less-expensive set because I knew that ceramic knives, for all their glory, had one shortcoming which is the blades are fundamentally brittle.  Which as anyone who knows me and how often I drop stuff like cell phones, knows that I'm gonna end up breaking at least one blade fairly soon after purchase.

After getting my new purchase home and unboxing the knives, I started to actually LOOK at the box that they were packaged in and started to get really happy.  It was a treasure trove of bad English and poor grammar.

For your enjoyment, (unless you are a high school Language Arts teacher), here are the amazingly terrible words I found on the box.

The box in question.  I've always wanted a life "more fashion". 

Let your body groove to the music...

So, when they get washed, are they going to say they were water boarded?

Here's where it gets really good...

So they cut stuff?

Please don't oppress the meat texture!

I do like the poetic sound of "cutting one's eyes are often more than tears"

Who knew that if I cut the ocean, onion juice won't stimulate my eyes?

Challenge accepted!  Where's a friggin' apple?

Guess I should have read these instructions a little closer. 

I have already cut on a glass surface, (couldn't coordinate with a cutting board), and I have washed them all in water and detergent.

Don't forget to sign up for the Twitter feed since this is where I'm going to post the results of my apple test.